Saturday, May 12, 2012

necessary luxury

Mom says I should write more, like I used to on this blog..... and I promise I will!  Let me just get this baby out and I will.

I am a changed woman through this photo project, and I'm glad it is coming before we welcome a second child into our family.  Each day of this project (which hit 65 days yesterday) I have given myself permission to think of something everyday that is just for me.  My photography, my vision, the way I piece together and make sense of my world.  I know that might sound strange, but life with a small child and with lots of other demands on my time I feel it has been a luxury.  I'm realizing the word luxury doesn't describe it, now.  It has become necessary.  Maybe working something like this into my everyday is good for every fiber of me.  Yes, eventually I will be able to ride, run, paddle, etc, once I heal from growing a human, but this is just different.  This is my expression and I'm so glad I stumbled upon this and how good it is for me.

Here are the photos I have shot since my last blog entry.  I upload photos daily on my FB Biz page to this album.

Day 57 -> 38.3. I wasn't so sure what I was going to do for a photo today, then ta da I turned and saw the dollhouse! I'm kind of kicking myself that I forgot to include Skagit in this photo, but she was outside lying in the cool grass this evening and I forgot to call her in to pose with us. My hair is an absolute wreck, too, and I'm not sure why...catching up on all this housework, all this "nesting" business, is not so becoming on me, I suppose!!!

Our little mystery babe, we await....are you a girl or a boy? I know one thing for sure, you are worlds different in personality from your sister, Astrid.

I was so sure Astrid was going to be a boy, so I can't be trusted to make THAT kind of guess, but I'm pretty sure if the old wives tale rings true about heartburn/acid reflux you will be born with a whole head of hair. Astrid held true to this, and you've both been cruel to me in that regard.

We are so excited to meet you, little one!

Day 58 -> 38.4. I took a bunch of these photos with Astrid but she was totally not having it today. I had to make another attempt at the Ceretana, this morning. I know this is not the most flattering angle of me, but it sure shows off the babe! I made sure to wear a light colored shirt so I could look nice and BIG and ROUND!

Maybe I could borrow a jib arm and get some different perspectives... we'll see how many days I have left...

Day 59 -> 38.5. We're ready around here. Not necessarily in order of importance...

House decluttered, CHECK.
Bag packed for the hospital, CHECK.
Laundry caught up, CHECK.
Toe nails freshly painted RED,CHECK.
Short list of friends to call when the time comes to care for Astrid and Skagit, CHECK.

Now, we just need to agree on a name for a boy and a name for a girl. It has been more difficult for us than the pregnancy itself. We're getting there, but not quite... To be revealed as soon as we meet the little nugget!!

Day 60 -> 38.6. Here we are. My mind has been all over the place lately....Yesterday I locked myself out of my studio AND my car simultaneously and after exhausting all other possible ways to get into the studio easily I called Jeff. He had to wake Astrid from a nap and drive across town to rescue me.

This weekend we worked together like a well oiled machine in an attempt to get a few more things ready for the new addition. Thanks to the tripod I got locked out of the studio to get, I was able to get a nice perspective of us on the back lawn under a shady tree this evening!

Day 60 of my photo project!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wow!

Day 61 -> 38.7. What a glorious day! Astrid and Skag and I went to the river and chased blue and periwinkle butterflies this afternoon! We are really enjoying every last millisecond of peace and life just the way we are. Astrid and I brought shovels and had fun meditatively digging in the sandy beach just behind this rock I'm sitting on.

Day 62 -> 39 wks. Today I had a newborn session in my home (a beautiful 5 day old perfect little boy named Hunter)...he and his mama brought with them so many memories... those tearful evenings after coming home from the hospital, the fragility I felt in those first few days wondering if I was being a good mama and knowing what was best for my little one, the 12 weeks of painful painful nursing, the many sleepless nights staring down at my beutiful little one in her moonlit room, the pride, and the duties I fully accepted as a new mother. I'm walking down that road again with my eyes wide open and my arms wide open, and ready.

I should be sleeping right now, as my neighbor and friend Dan pointed out tonight... there's just too much anticipation, too much excitement....and quite frankly much tooooo much tinkling going on in the middle of the night, now!

Today would have been a perfect day to be born. My favorite cat from my childhood, Adelaide, would have been 30 years old, today.

Maybe tomorrow.....or better yet, Mother's Day.

Day 63 -> 39.2. Baby, I hope you are ready for all the fun we have outside around here... Your sister and I were outside almost all day... up on Waterworks Hill tromping through wildflowers, weeding the landscaping, riding bikes, throwing the ball for Skag...

I can't stop looking at Astrid with a longing these days. Longing for more time.

I had another photo session today, and this time it was with a Mom of a 19 year old son and a 14 year old daughter. Tina reminded me of how fleeting it all is and to enjoy every minute of this time, because once they hit school, it flies. I do try to live my life in the present, and time will tell.

Speaking of living life in the "present"...Skagit is the very best at practicing it, and she is a great reminder for me daily.

I seriously can't believe it worked out that I could capture this fraction of a second in time... I heard the three beeps (of my intervalometer) and threw an Annie's Cheddar Bunny her way!

Here's a trivia question for you: Did she catch it?

(btw - it is nearly impossible to get Astrid out of THIS particular dress this week. I know you can't tell from this photo but she has an additional dress on underneath that I must also add is buttoned up one button off. Incredibly irresistible, today.)

Day 64 -> 39.3. BIRTH. I had an idea the other night and I'm happy that I went back to this tunnel to attempt bringing concept and execution together!! I'm really happy with the results. Oh my goodness it was COLD in my bare feet and tee shirt. I had to suffer for my vision, but it was well worth it. Go toward the light, little one, out into this big wide world!

A couple hours ago I learned of a friend's passing as I got on the computer to edit these, and it helps to give an alternative meaning for me (today). Bryant, go toward the light, little one! Heaven awaits! Paint it red, Bear....better yet, paint it ORANGE!!!

Day 65 -> 39.4. RIDE. I had another shot I tried to make happen for nearly 45 minutes at the equestrian park near where we live....but, welll, it's B.O.R.I.N.G. I know this isn't much better - but I simply ran out of time....and Astrid's patience was wearing thin.

To be honest, THIS shot was not all that easy. Picture me on this bike, leaned way over while riding (thank goodness it was flat), belly hanging over the seat, with a heavy camera in one hand with strap tightly wound around my wrist several times for safety, trying to point the camera to find focus in the center then reframing the shot to show the trailer and more of the scene, watching to make sure I don't run into Skagit who is barking and chasing a horse in a nearby yard (about to get kicked btw). Oh, and did I mention I'm a few days from my due date and I can feel the baby's head on my seat if I hit any bumps? yeah.

That's my long excuse for a not-so-creative shot, today. But, I got one! And we love biking around the neighborhood so I'm glad I got this for the collection. Our favorite place to ride is on the trail system to town or Kelly Island but because of high water our log bridge is currently underwater and impossible to cross. Astrid loves riding her own bike, too, and I know her days are numbered in the trailer.

THIS was a fun afternoon!


Happy Mother's Day to all you Mothers out there!!!!!  Have a great weekend!  I'm hoping to get some yard work out of my husband today!!!!

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