Wednesday, April 9, 2008

i lost something very important

I lost something so I tore apart the house looking for it today. I thought Skagit might have swallowed it last night so I literally went though all her poop in the front yard, and during our hike this morning. I looked through our bed and stripped all the sheets and pillowcases off...I moved furniture (the couch, the arm chair, the huge chest of drawers and the bedside stand)...I looked in places that hadn't been cleaned in years....and I looked in each of these places about 400 times!

Nothing made sense. So, I started thinking of crazier explanations.

I thought someone had come into the house and drugged me and taken it from me in the middle of the night. I also thought maybe I had swallowed it while I was sleeping (Mom's thought) or flushed it down the toilet on one of my trips to the bathroom...

I threw out $12 in cash at the post office on Monday by mistake (and had to go back and rifle through the trash to find it) so I figured this sort of stuff happens when you are pregnant (sudden memory loss), but this was an even bigger loss. As a strong believer in 'fate' I thought that Monday had been but a foreshadowing of what was happening to me now.

Through hours of looking for it today I was sick with worry stemming from this very material (yet very symbolic) thing. I cried a lot, and I gave Skag the cold shoulder (because I thought she had swallowed it) and I have to say I was sort of annoyed with her since she (thinking she was the guilty party) kept following me from room to room with this puzzled and helpless look on her face, as I frantically searched the same places over and over again, rearranged the furniture and cleaned out entire drawers of stuff.

You may have guessed what it is I'm talking about ~ I'm talking about my wedding rings (my engagement ring, and my wedding band).

I had taken a shower last night and and put lotion on afterward so I was just about to do the same (in hopes of jogging my memory about what I had done with them), when I looked down on my side of the sink (where I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS put my rings, where I had moved each lotion bottle many many times today) and moved the one thing that I hadn't picked up...the pint glass. Ta Da! There they were under the built in well of the glass (I couldn't see the rings because there was water in the glass). I had placed the glass over the rings by mistake in the pitch dark in the middle of the night....fumbling to get a glass of water without turning on any lights.

I felt as if I had found a treasure! I had an heirloom (that I may give to my child one day) back!

Today I couldn't help but be thoughtful about why it is that we place so much value on "things". I know the answer, and I felt that this was the biggest burden of all. I had to keep reminding myself that 'no one died' and that 'we'd get over it' and no matter what - our marriage would live on regardless of the presence of these rings... But it didn't seem to help my immediate frantic behavior.

I have lost/had stolen a few things in my lifetime...none of them as valuable or as symbolic as these rings, but even something as simple as a rock or piece of wood or a feather you find on a most amazing day with someone you love can be a big loss.

i found something

1 comment:

Angel said...

WHEW!!! For some reason I just knew what you were talking about...I'm so happy you found them!!!